25 things...

I did was asked to do this on Facebook recently and thought it was interesting enough to post on here... lazy posting!

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, you choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.

1) I once fell out of a tree I was climbing whilst wearing my best Sunday dress. The back of the dress caught on a branch and I was left hanging from the tree. On spotting my predicament my Dad told me he wasn’t going to help me down which would teach me a lesson. I was probably only left hanging there for a couple of minutes but it felt like forever.

2) I love puzzles of all types and have a not-so-secret current love of jigsaws. This involved me doing a 500 piece Lord of the Rings puzzle at the weekend (my housemate rescued it from her mum’s bin). My mind always wants things to be tidy and organised.

3) Though I used to hate it I now love having curly hair. I think I look weird with straight hair and could never get used to wearing it that way. I hate being asked if I’ve got a perm.

4) I once won a competition to design a Christmas card for the local Royal Bank of Scotland branch when I was about 9. I remember doing a snow scene with Father Christmas and his sleigh and tippex-ing in the snow flakes on a midnight blue background.

5) I didn’t go on a plane until I was 18. My uncle died in a plane crash around 6 months before but I still really enjoy flying.

6) My dad’s name is Phil Taylor. My friends at home call him ‘the Power’. He plays snooker but I’m not sure if he’s actually any good at darts. He’s my absolute hero but is also as stubborn as me so we have some brilliant arguments. His initials are PMT and I like to think it’s because he has pre-menstrual tension.

7) Seven is my lucky number. I was born on the 7th March. I once put my last $20 of betting money on number seven on roulette in a Sydney casino. I didn’t win.

8) I like to sing at the top of my voice in the kitchen when I’m doing jobs and slide around the wooden floor in my socks. At moments like these I think I’m possibly the best dancer the world has ever seen. All time sock dancing favourite is probably Jaramaqui.

9) I wish I had paid more attention in university and attended more lectures. I only started really enjoying my degree in the third year and although I got a 2:1 I wish I’d have taken more away with me.

10) I’m a sea lover. I would always choose living by the sea over anything else.

11) I come from a big family. I have an older brother and sister, 2 nephews and 1 niece. My mum is one of 7 and my dad is one of 4. I have around 26 first cousins, 19 second cousins and if you factor in my cousins’ husbands and wives it adds up to a pretty long birthday card list. I would consider myself very close to all of my family however living three and a half hours away occasionally has its benefits!

12) Jack Nicholson once asked me if I’d like to pat him down.

13) Matthew Kelly once tripped over me.

14) I think my mum might be one of the best cooks going. Sunday lunch at my parents is usually a marathon of food, wine, conversation and humour. I picked up a love of cooking from her and really enjoy cooking for people.

15) On my 19th birthday I got so drunk that I was sick in my knickers. It’s a long story and best told in person with actions.

16) I once hid in a wardrobe for ages waiting to jump out on my cousin Daniel who was living with us at the time. When I eventually jumped out it was my Aunty Jane who had walked in and not Daniel. I’ve never seen anyone look so terrified. I was about 16.

17) I’ve been on TV. I was in a kids television show called Knight School for ITV. I demonstrate possibly the worst acting skills you’ve ever seen but happen to be quite proud of the singing I did for it.

18) I’ve never broken a bone but have the weakest ankles known to mankind.

19) I’m fairly mild mannered but sometimes enjoy a really impassioned rant on a particular topic, occasionally this can lead to irrational bouts of rage. Current examples include:
- My noisy boiler
- People who stroke my hair
- Shane Ritchie

20) I have itchy feet and love going to new places. I wish I could travel more and when money allows have a mental list of places to visit. Most of them involve long-haul.

21) I think empathy is a really important trait and should be paired up with compassion as often as possible – even if I sometimes have to remind myself.

22) I sucked my thumb regularly for around 26 years. I still occasionally suck my thumb when I’m really tired and usually wake up with teeth marks on my thumb.

23) I love the idea of love and romance but hate over the top men who try too hard. Insincere romance or male clinginess makes me cringe! I think deep down I might be after the cave-man approach.

24) I got flashed at three times in one visit once when I went to visit my Nanna in a unit to assess old folks with Alzheimer's/Dementia. Each time was by the same man. He was remarkably well hung for his age.

25) I enjoy making people laugh and being made to laugh. It’s my favourite pastime. Some jokes will never grow old either. Me and my sister putting my enormous bras on our heads will still do it every time.

Islands in the Stream

This makes me happy. In fact Dolly Parton in general makes me happy. I defy anyone to listen to a Dolly song and not smile. Well, maybe except for a newly divorced and slighty bitter woman who might happen to catch the opening bars of 'D-I-V-O-R-C-E'. Anyway, I was singing a song all morning and couldn't put my finger on what it was. Turns out it was the opening lines of 'Islands in the Stream' and I was happily singing Kenny Rogers bit. (He's an affable looking fellow too).

So sing a long with me. Please. I swear it will make you smile...

"Baby, when I met you there was peace unknown
I set out to get you with a fine tooth comb
I was soft inside, there was somethin going on"

If you are going to complain...

...then you should write a letter as good as this.

Letter of Complaint to Richard Branson

It's almost as good as the Sean-John-P-Diddy-Coombes 'I am King' fragrance advert. The first time I saw this advert I very nearly let a little bit of wee out. If you haven't had the pleasure yet then in summary he rides a jet ski around in a tuxedo and sunglasses before walking onto a beach surrounded by hot young ladies.

Do you think he wanted to call his aftershave 'I am God' but that the marketing guys thought that might be a bit too much? That maybe people might get a bit offended. In fact I can hear the conversation now... "so Diddy, I think we should go for I am King, it's so much more you. Anyways, it's like, so cool, and hey I don't know if God even knows how to jet-ski..."

I'm sure Henry VIII used to love a bit of jet-skiing at the weekend... good for gout so I've heard.

So anyway, if you wear his aftershave does that mean that you are a King or does it secretly mean that you think he is king? If he sells enough bottles does it count as some kind of peaceful coup and he gets to be King of the World?

Finally, lets ask ourselves, what do Kings smell like? I know you really want to know. Apparently Kings smell of 'premium' ingredients such as:

Cranberry, "a proprietary Imperial French berry note"
Premium Champagne-crème de cassis-kir royale
Cooling Mediterranean water
Key lime pie, and lemon cream

Kings smell of PIE! Heck, even I'd vote for a king made of pie.

Happy New 27th January

Oops, slightly belated in my Happy New Year wishes here.. apologies! I hope that everyone had a lovely time and made lots of resolutions that they will never keep etc, etc.

It's been a pretty busy festive season and New Year for me. My car decided it hated life and almost clapped out on the M5/M6 before Christmas. Driving with dodgy breaks and no acceleration is not recommended. Although it can be fun to see how far you can gouge your nails into the steering wheel in terror... Actually I'd like to think I was quite badass about it all and was very pleased to get home in one piece - until mon pere informed me how much a new clutch, new brake pads, new air filter, new battery and new spark plugs was going to cost me. Ouch.

I then had all the usual Christmas lovely family time fun, it was actually pretty painless and enjoyable - I even made the starter for Christmas dinner this year - picture attached!



Things then speeded up to involve:

Two days at a wedding in the Lake District (lovely, cold, very special, beautiful)

Catching a (very early) lift on New Years Eve with my brother back to Cardiff. 2am ladies and gents. 2am. Note - if you drive in a transit van through Knutsford at 2am please be aware you are very likely to be pulled over by the police and asked to explain your business. We are not bandits...

A rather lovely NYE, NYD was even better (friends, cheese, meat, food, tv, blankets & sofa's)

Going back to Manchester on the train to pick up my mended car. Full circle.

So there it is, I feel up to date and ready to roll. Lots of other things going on but I might save those for a whole post each!

Panic, fear, dread and a Merry Christmas!

Have you ever had a phone call or message that leaves you with the worst fear in the world? When you immediately start to believe the very worst possible and create some really terrifying scenarios in your head?

I had one of those last night.

I'm going to be a bit cryptic because it's personal and I don't want to go into all the tragic details... needless to say I got hardly any sleep last night and my dreams were incredibly vivid and traumatic hallucinations of my over-active imagination. I was late into work, waiting for a phone call to say things were all ok and that it wasn't really the end of the world as I know it. My mouth has been dry since I woke up and I can't concentrate on anything.

Now I know it's all fine.

All the time last night, I knew that realistically it was going to be ok. Surely nothing that bad could have happened. Part of me actually thought it was fate and that I'd had a run of bad luck and maybe - just maybe I'd done something truly horrible to deserve this. What is all that about? I mean honestly, what is it all about? I wish I had better control over my mind and logic and all the things that would make me live a far calmer life! Panic-monger! Run for the hills.... arrrgh!

So I presume by now you are all very confused, that's if you haven't given up hours ago. Needless to say, everything is fine, normality is restored and I'm off up North for Christmas.

Happy Christmas everyone, have a lovely time.

xxx

Smelly people and early mornings

Ah... yawn, stretch it's Monday morning and I had a really nice weekend - although pretty busy. I got a train at 5.30am (yes, yes I mean the 5.30 in the morning) to Manchester on Saturday for my nephew's 13th birthday. It was lovely,a good old family knees up and I got to spend some quality time with my nephew discussing BMX bikes (excellent), chav fashion(awful) and savings accounts(advised). He's still such an ace person, he constantly surprises me with the things he says - he's pretty perceptive for one so young. As the oldest of my brood of nephews (2) and niece (1) him turning 13 did make me feel a little old... however I was 15 when he was born so I guess it's not too bad!

How do kids end up either so cool or such nightmares? I know good parenting comes into but then sometimes I wonder if it's just me being totally biased!

I did really struggle with the getting up at 4.30am though, i just couldn't sleep the night before - you know that feeling when you have to get up for something important so you wake up every 40 mins to check the clock.. grr. I eventually got up and the taxi was early so I spent 30 minutes sat on the platform at Cardiff Central freezing away and trying to avoid eye contact with some of the choicer reprobates. Finally got on the train and got my seat and then a man on rather the larger size of 25 stone sat in front of me and - oh dear - he stank. Ugh. Felt guilty for being so revolted but I'm not good with smells!

Oh well, at least I got entertained with some slightly filthy texts from Mr Occasional once he was up around 7.30 ish... kept me giggling for most of the journey. Hurrah for rudeness that only you know about whilst sat in a public place!!

Boots of moon, icy paths and snug feet

Winter is here, Christmas is round the corner and it's cold, cold, cold! So much so that I made a mad dash to Tesco at 10pm last Monday night to purchase a hot water bottle. It's been a fixture in my bed ever since - at least I now have something warm AND reliable to snuggle up to...

I decided this morning as I scampered to work that I actually like the icy pavements - it makes me appreciate what a fantastic purchase my moon boots were! (Gives me a good excuse to wear them too!)

I have 3 pairs of moon boots now, one traditional, real deal, cool as fuck, red pair of original moon boots. The other two are slightly more practical black ones although one pair have white go-faster stripes. This pair were velcroed round my legs this morning keeping my feet toasty with their faux fur lining. I've still got them on under my desk as I type this - I did put some proper work shoes on this morning but after my lunch excursion I've given in and kept on the comfort boots. Anyway, I'm in love with the retro coolness of my boots. I feel like a superhero. A really warm and lazy superhero.