Islands in the Stream

This makes me happy. In fact Dolly Parton in general makes me happy. I defy anyone to listen to a Dolly song and not smile. Well, maybe except for a newly divorced and slighty bitter woman who might happen to catch the opening bars of 'D-I-V-O-R-C-E'. Anyway, I was singing a song all morning and couldn't put my finger on what it was. Turns out it was the opening lines of 'Islands in the Stream' and I was happily singing Kenny Rogers bit. (He's an affable looking fellow too).

So sing a long with me. Please. I swear it will make you smile...

"Baby, when I met you there was peace unknown
I set out to get you with a fine tooth comb
I was soft inside, there was somethin going on"

If you are going to complain...

...then you should write a letter as good as this.

Letter of Complaint to Richard Branson

It's almost as good as the Sean-John-P-Diddy-Coombes 'I am King' fragrance advert. The first time I saw this advert I very nearly let a little bit of wee out. If you haven't had the pleasure yet then in summary he rides a jet ski around in a tuxedo and sunglasses before walking onto a beach surrounded by hot young ladies.

Do you think he wanted to call his aftershave 'I am God' but that the marketing guys thought that might be a bit too much? That maybe people might get a bit offended. In fact I can hear the conversation now... "so Diddy, I think we should go for I am King, it's so much more you. Anyways, it's like, so cool, and hey I don't know if God even knows how to jet-ski..."

I'm sure Henry VIII used to love a bit of jet-skiing at the weekend... good for gout so I've heard.

So anyway, if you wear his aftershave does that mean that you are a King or does it secretly mean that you think he is king? If he sells enough bottles does it count as some kind of peaceful coup and he gets to be King of the World?

Finally, lets ask ourselves, what do Kings smell like? I know you really want to know. Apparently Kings smell of 'premium' ingredients such as:

Cranberry, "a proprietary Imperial French berry note"
Premium Champagne-crème de cassis-kir royale
Cooling Mediterranean water
Key lime pie, and lemon cream

Kings smell of PIE! Heck, even I'd vote for a king made of pie.

Happy New 27th January

Oops, slightly belated in my Happy New Year wishes here.. apologies! I hope that everyone had a lovely time and made lots of resolutions that they will never keep etc, etc.

It's been a pretty busy festive season and New Year for me. My car decided it hated life and almost clapped out on the M5/M6 before Christmas. Driving with dodgy breaks and no acceleration is not recommended. Although it can be fun to see how far you can gouge your nails into the steering wheel in terror... Actually I'd like to think I was quite badass about it all and was very pleased to get home in one piece - until mon pere informed me how much a new clutch, new brake pads, new air filter, new battery and new spark plugs was going to cost me. Ouch.

I then had all the usual Christmas lovely family time fun, it was actually pretty painless and enjoyable - I even made the starter for Christmas dinner this year - picture attached!



Things then speeded up to involve:

Two days at a wedding in the Lake District (lovely, cold, very special, beautiful)

Catching a (very early) lift on New Years Eve with my brother back to Cardiff. 2am ladies and gents. 2am. Note - if you drive in a transit van through Knutsford at 2am please be aware you are very likely to be pulled over by the police and asked to explain your business. We are not bandits...

A rather lovely NYE, NYD was even better (friends, cheese, meat, food, tv, blankets & sofa's)

Going back to Manchester on the train to pick up my mended car. Full circle.

So there it is, I feel up to date and ready to roll. Lots of other things going on but I might save those for a whole post each!

Panic, fear, dread and a Merry Christmas!

Have you ever had a phone call or message that leaves you with the worst fear in the world? When you immediately start to believe the very worst possible and create some really terrifying scenarios in your head?

I had one of those last night.

I'm going to be a bit cryptic because it's personal and I don't want to go into all the tragic details... needless to say I got hardly any sleep last night and my dreams were incredibly vivid and traumatic hallucinations of my over-active imagination. I was late into work, waiting for a phone call to say things were all ok and that it wasn't really the end of the world as I know it. My mouth has been dry since I woke up and I can't concentrate on anything.

Now I know it's all fine.

All the time last night, I knew that realistically it was going to be ok. Surely nothing that bad could have happened. Part of me actually thought it was fate and that I'd had a run of bad luck and maybe - just maybe I'd done something truly horrible to deserve this. What is all that about? I mean honestly, what is it all about? I wish I had better control over my mind and logic and all the things that would make me live a far calmer life! Panic-monger! Run for the hills.... arrrgh!

So I presume by now you are all very confused, that's if you haven't given up hours ago. Needless to say, everything is fine, normality is restored and I'm off up North for Christmas.

Happy Christmas everyone, have a lovely time.

xxx

Smelly people and early mornings

Ah... yawn, stretch it's Monday morning and I had a really nice weekend - although pretty busy. I got a train at 5.30am (yes, yes I mean the 5.30 in the morning) to Manchester on Saturday for my nephew's 13th birthday. It was lovely,a good old family knees up and I got to spend some quality time with my nephew discussing BMX bikes (excellent), chav fashion(awful) and savings accounts(advised). He's still such an ace person, he constantly surprises me with the things he says - he's pretty perceptive for one so young. As the oldest of my brood of nephews (2) and niece (1) him turning 13 did make me feel a little old... however I was 15 when he was born so I guess it's not too bad!

How do kids end up either so cool or such nightmares? I know good parenting comes into but then sometimes I wonder if it's just me being totally biased!

I did really struggle with the getting up at 4.30am though, i just couldn't sleep the night before - you know that feeling when you have to get up for something important so you wake up every 40 mins to check the clock.. grr. I eventually got up and the taxi was early so I spent 30 minutes sat on the platform at Cardiff Central freezing away and trying to avoid eye contact with some of the choicer reprobates. Finally got on the train and got my seat and then a man on rather the larger size of 25 stone sat in front of me and - oh dear - he stank. Ugh. Felt guilty for being so revolted but I'm not good with smells!

Oh well, at least I got entertained with some slightly filthy texts from Mr Occasional once he was up around 7.30 ish... kept me giggling for most of the journey. Hurrah for rudeness that only you know about whilst sat in a public place!!

Boots of moon, icy paths and snug feet

Winter is here, Christmas is round the corner and it's cold, cold, cold! So much so that I made a mad dash to Tesco at 10pm last Monday night to purchase a hot water bottle. It's been a fixture in my bed ever since - at least I now have something warm AND reliable to snuggle up to...

I decided this morning as I scampered to work that I actually like the icy pavements - it makes me appreciate what a fantastic purchase my moon boots were! (Gives me a good excuse to wear them too!)

I have 3 pairs of moon boots now, one traditional, real deal, cool as fuck, red pair of original moon boots. The other two are slightly more practical black ones although one pair have white go-faster stripes. This pair were velcroed round my legs this morning keeping my feet toasty with their faux fur lining. I've still got them on under my desk as I type this - I did put some proper work shoes on this morning but after my lunch excursion I've given in and kept on the comfort boots. Anyway, I'm in love with the retro coolness of my boots. I feel like a superhero. A really warm and lazy superhero.

Only one word???

Oooo how exciting.. I have been tagged by a meme (what on earth is one of those?!) it seems this means I have to answer a list of innocuous questions using only one word answers. One word! For all those that know me and my lovely verbose self that's actually really, really hard. Why use one word when you can use 20? No I don't know either...

Gulp. So here goes.

1. Where is your cell phone? Desk

2. Where is your significant other? Somewhere

3. Your hair color? Blondish

4. Your mother? Beautiful

5. Your father? Idolised

6. Your favorite thing? People

7. Your dream last night? Rude

8. Your dream/goal? Undecided

9. The room you’re in? Cosy

11. Your fear? Socks

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Beach

13. Where were you last night? Yoga

14. What you’re not? Quiet

15. One of your wish-list items? Drawers

16. Where you grew up? Manchester

17. The last thing you did? Sleep

18. What are you wearing? T-Shirt

19. Your TV? Silver

20. Your pet? Tiger

21. Your computer? Free

22. Your mood? Unclassified

23. Missing someone? Family

24. Your car? Gold

25. Something you’re not wearing? Underwear

26. Favorite store? What

27. Your summer? Interesting

28. Love someone? Always

29. Your favorite color? Sky

30. When is the last time you laughed? Yesterday

31. Last time you cried? Friday

There we go, not too difficult and filled a bit of time! Thanks Anna!