Tuesday 24 February 2009

The curious incident of the mum in the moonlight

So this weekend I went on a jolly to visit my family in Manchester, I had a lovely weekend planned - culminating in a surprise party on Sunday for my siter-in-law's birthday. Of course, me being me I then got hideously ill on Saturday night, I woke up around 1am with really bad stomach cramps and a feeling I was going to be sick..

After creeping to the bathroom twice already in the dark trying not to wake my parents I then ran to the bathroom for a third time to be sick. Exiting the bathroom in the pitch black again I was staggering quietly back to my room when this little voice came out of the darkness... 'are you ok?'....

I should at this moment point out that I am possibly the jumpiest person around - I don't exaggerate - and have always been a bit spooked by my parents big old house at night. Having imagined being jumped on by a burgalar in the dark for years it was finally happening...

So of course I screamed by head off and my mum (because OF COURSE it was my mum, who else would it have been) stepped out from the dark doorway she was looming in and grabbed me to stop me from falling back down the steps I'd just come up! The next morning my dad pointed out that he 'knew all along' my mum would make me jump and didn't know why she hadn't switched a light on or knocked on the bathroom door. I want to know why my dad didn't tell her that before she nearly made me die of a heart attack!


Divide : Scared To Death
Originally uploaded by monsieurlam
Anyway, my mum got me back into bed and then bless her loveliness sat up with me for the next 4 hours as I got more and more ill and even offered to play scrabble with me to pass the time!!! I did decline the scrabble offer as I was at that point hunched over a bowl trying not to be sick, however we did have a good game of I Spy. The only ones I can remember are moisturiser, charger and water chestnuts (yes I had a tin of water chestnuts in my bedroom - isn't that normal?). Either way she definitely redeemed herself by looking after me all Sunday as I went through all the niceties of a 24 hour vomiting bug: she brought me water, a bowl to be sick in, woke me up from my sleep to stick a thermometer under my tongue etc etc... Thanks Mum!

Friday 13 February 2009

25 things...

I did was asked to do this on Facebook recently and thought it was interesting enough to post on here... lazy posting!

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, you choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.

1) I once fell out of a tree I was climbing whilst wearing my best Sunday dress. The back of the dress caught on a branch and I was left hanging from the tree. On spotting my predicament my Dad told me he wasn’t going to help me down which would teach me a lesson. I was probably only left hanging there for a couple of minutes but it felt like forever.

2) I love puzzles of all types and have a not-so-secret current love of jigsaws. This involved me doing a 500 piece Lord of the Rings puzzle at the weekend (my housemate rescued it from her mum’s bin). My mind always wants things to be tidy and organised.

3) Though I used to hate it I now love having curly hair. I think I look weird with straight hair and could never get used to wearing it that way. I hate being asked if I’ve got a perm.

4) I once won a competition to design a Christmas card for the local Royal Bank of Scotland branch when I was about 9. I remember doing a snow scene with Father Christmas and his sleigh and tippex-ing in the snow flakes on a midnight blue background.

5) I didn’t go on a plane until I was 18. My uncle died in a plane crash around 6 months before but I still really enjoy flying.

6) My dad’s name is Phil Taylor. My friends at home call him ‘the Power’. He plays snooker but I’m not sure if he’s actually any good at darts. He’s my absolute hero but is also as stubborn as me so we have some brilliant arguments. His initials are PMT and I like to think it’s because he has pre-menstrual tension.

7) Seven is my lucky number. I was born on the 7th March. I once put my last $20 of betting money on number seven on roulette in a Sydney casino. I didn’t win.

8) I like to sing at the top of my voice in the kitchen when I’m doing jobs and slide around the wooden floor in my socks. At moments like these I think I’m possibly the best dancer the world has ever seen. All time sock dancing favourite is probably Jaramaqui.

9) I wish I had paid more attention in university and attended more lectures. I only started really enjoying my degree in the third year and although I got a 2:1 I wish I’d have taken more away with me.

10) I’m a sea lover. I would always choose living by the sea over anything else.

11) I come from a big family. I have an older brother and sister, 2 nephews and 1 niece. My mum is one of 7 and my dad is one of 4. I have around 26 first cousins, 19 second cousins and if you factor in my cousins’ husbands and wives it adds up to a pretty long birthday card list. I would consider myself very close to all of my family however living three and a half hours away occasionally has its benefits!

12) Jack Nicholson once asked me if I’d like to pat him down.

13) Matthew Kelly once tripped over me.

14) I think my mum might be one of the best cooks going. Sunday lunch at my parents is usually a marathon of food, wine, conversation and humour. I picked up a love of cooking from her and really enjoy cooking for people.

15) On my 19th birthday I got so drunk that I was sick in my knickers. It’s a long story and best told in person with actions.

16) I once hid in a wardrobe for ages waiting to jump out on my cousin Daniel who was living with us at the time. When I eventually jumped out it was my Aunty Jane who had walked in and not Daniel. I’ve never seen anyone look so terrified. I was about 16.

17) I’ve been on TV. I was in a kids television show called Knight School for ITV. I demonstrate possibly the worst acting skills you’ve ever seen but happen to be quite proud of the singing I did for it.

18) I’ve never broken a bone but have the weakest ankles known to mankind.

19) I’m fairly mild mannered but sometimes enjoy a really impassioned rant on a particular topic, occasionally this can lead to irrational bouts of rage. Current examples include:
- My noisy boiler
- People who stroke my hair
- Shane Ritchie

20) I have itchy feet and love going to new places. I wish I could travel more and when money allows have a mental list of places to visit. Most of them involve long-haul.

21) I think empathy is a really important trait and should be paired up with compassion as often as possible – even if I sometimes have to remind myself.

22) I sucked my thumb regularly for around 26 years. I still occasionally suck my thumb when I’m really tired and usually wake up with teeth marks on my thumb.

23) I love the idea of love and romance but hate over the top men who try too hard. Insincere romance or male clinginess makes me cringe! I think deep down I might be after the cave-man approach.

24) I got flashed at three times in one visit once when I went to visit my Nanna in a unit to assess old folks with Alzheimer's/Dementia. Each time was by the same man. He was remarkably well hung for his age.

25) I enjoy making people laugh and being made to laugh. It’s my favourite pastime. Some jokes will never grow old either. Me and my sister putting my enormous bras on our heads will still do it every time.