Thursday, 29 January 2009

Islands in the Stream

This makes me happy. In fact Dolly Parton in general makes me happy. I defy anyone to listen to a Dolly song and not smile. Well, maybe except for a newly divorced and slighty bitter woman who might happen to catch the opening bars of 'D-I-V-O-R-C-E'. Anyway, I was singing a song all morning and couldn't put my finger on what it was. Turns out it was the opening lines of 'Islands in the Stream' and I was happily singing Kenny Rogers bit. (He's an affable looking fellow too).

So sing a long with me. Please. I swear it will make you smile...

"Baby, when I met you there was peace unknown
I set out to get you with a fine tooth comb
I was soft inside, there was somethin going on"

Wednesday, 28 January 2009

If you are going to complain...

...then you should write a letter as good as this.

Letter of Complaint to Richard Branson

It's almost as good as the Sean-John-P-Diddy-Coombes 'I am King' fragrance advert. The first time I saw this advert I very nearly let a little bit of wee out. If you haven't had the pleasure yet then in summary he rides a jet ski around in a tuxedo and sunglasses before walking onto a beach surrounded by hot young ladies.

Do you think he wanted to call his aftershave 'I am God' but that the marketing guys thought that might be a bit too much? That maybe people might get a bit offended. In fact I can hear the conversation now... "so Diddy, I think we should go for I am King, it's so much more you. Anyways, it's like, so cool, and hey I don't know if God even knows how to jet-ski..."

I'm sure Henry VIII used to love a bit of jet-skiing at the weekend... good for gout so I've heard.

So anyway, if you wear his aftershave does that mean that you are a King or does it secretly mean that you think he is king? If he sells enough bottles does it count as some kind of peaceful coup and he gets to be King of the World?

Finally, lets ask ourselves, what do Kings smell like? I know you really want to know. Apparently Kings smell of 'premium' ingredients such as:

Cranberry, "a proprietary Imperial French berry note"
Premium Champagne-crème de cassis-kir royale
Cooling Mediterranean water
Key lime pie, and lemon cream

Kings smell of PIE! Heck, even I'd vote for a king made of pie.

Tuesday, 27 January 2009

Happy New 27th January

Oops, slightly belated in my Happy New Year wishes here.. apologies! I hope that everyone had a lovely time and made lots of resolutions that they will never keep etc, etc.

It's been a pretty busy festive season and New Year for me. My car decided it hated life and almost clapped out on the M5/M6 before Christmas. Driving with dodgy breaks and no acceleration is not recommended. Although it can be fun to see how far you can gouge your nails into the steering wheel in terror... Actually I'd like to think I was quite badass about it all and was very pleased to get home in one piece - until mon pere informed me how much a new clutch, new brake pads, new air filter, new battery and new spark plugs was going to cost me. Ouch.

I then had all the usual Christmas lovely family time fun, it was actually pretty painless and enjoyable - I even made the starter for Christmas dinner this year - picture attached!

Presentation is everything

Things then speeded up to involve:

Two days at a wedding in the Lake District (lovely, cold, very special, beautiful)

Catching a (very early) lift on New Years Eve with my brother back to Cardiff. 2am ladies and gents. 2am. Note - if you drive in a transit van through Knutsford at 2am please be aware you are very likely to be pulled over by the police and asked to explain your business. We are not bandits...

A rather lovely NYE, NYD was even better (friends, cheese, meat, food, tv, blankets & sofa's)

Going back to Manchester on the train to pick up my mended car. Full circle.

So there it is, I feel up to date and ready to roll. Lots of other things going on but I might save those for a whole post each!