Have you ever had a phone call or message that leaves you with the worst fear in the world? When you immediately start to believe the very worst possible and create some really terrifying scenarios in your head?
I had one of those last night.
I'm going to be a bit cryptic because it's personal and I don't want to go into all the tragic details... needless to say I got hardly any sleep last night and my dreams were incredibly vivid and traumatic hallucinations of my over-active imagination. I was late into work, waiting for a phone call to say things were all ok and that it wasn't really the end of the world as I know it. My mouth has been dry since I woke up and I can't concentrate on anything.
Now I know it's all fine.
All the time last night, I knew that realistically it was going to be ok. Surely nothing that bad could have happened. Part of me actually thought it was fate and that I'd had a run of bad luck and maybe - just maybe I'd done something truly horrible to deserve this. What is all that about? I mean honestly, what is it all about? I wish I had better control over my mind and logic and all the things that would make me live a far calmer life! Panic-monger! Run for the hills.... arrrgh!
So I presume by now you are all very confused, that's if you haven't given up hours ago. Needless to say, everything is fine, normality is restored and I'm off up North for Christmas.
Happy Christmas everyone, have a lovely time.
Marooned and toasted cheese
6 months ago