Panic, fear, dread and a Merry Christmas!

Have you ever had a phone call or message that leaves you with the worst fear in the world? When you immediately start to believe the very worst possible and create some really terrifying scenarios in your head?

I had one of those last night.

I'm going to be a bit cryptic because it's personal and I don't want to go into all the tragic details... needless to say I got hardly any sleep last night and my dreams were incredibly vivid and traumatic hallucinations of my over-active imagination. I was late into work, waiting for a phone call to say things were all ok and that it wasn't really the end of the world as I know it. My mouth has been dry since I woke up and I can't concentrate on anything.

Now I know it's all fine.

All the time last night, I knew that realistically it was going to be ok. Surely nothing that bad could have happened. Part of me actually thought it was fate and that I'd had a run of bad luck and maybe - just maybe I'd done something truly horrible to deserve this. What is all that about? I mean honestly, what is it all about? I wish I had better control over my mind and logic and all the things that would make me live a far calmer life! Panic-monger! Run for the hills.... arrrgh!

So I presume by now you are all very confused, that's if you haven't given up hours ago. Needless to say, everything is fine, normality is restored and I'm off up North for Christmas.

Happy Christmas everyone, have a lovely time.

xxx

Smelly people and early mornings

Ah... yawn, stretch it's Monday morning and I had a really nice weekend - although pretty busy. I got a train at 5.30am (yes, yes I mean the 5.30 in the morning) to Manchester on Saturday for my nephew's 13th birthday. It was lovely,a good old family knees up and I got to spend some quality time with my nephew discussing BMX bikes (excellent), chav fashion(awful) and savings accounts(advised). He's still such an ace person, he constantly surprises me with the things he says - he's pretty perceptive for one so young. As the oldest of my brood of nephews (2) and niece (1) him turning 13 did make me feel a little old... however I was 15 when he was born so I guess it's not too bad!

How do kids end up either so cool or such nightmares? I know good parenting comes into but then sometimes I wonder if it's just me being totally biased!

I did really struggle with the getting up at 4.30am though, i just couldn't sleep the night before - you know that feeling when you have to get up for something important so you wake up every 40 mins to check the clock.. grr. I eventually got up and the taxi was early so I spent 30 minutes sat on the platform at Cardiff Central freezing away and trying to avoid eye contact with some of the choicer reprobates. Finally got on the train and got my seat and then a man on rather the larger size of 25 stone sat in front of me and - oh dear - he stank. Ugh. Felt guilty for being so revolted but I'm not good with smells!

Oh well, at least I got entertained with some slightly filthy texts from Mr Occasional once he was up around 7.30 ish... kept me giggling for most of the journey. Hurrah for rudeness that only you know about whilst sat in a public place!!

Boots of moon, icy paths and snug feet

Winter is here, Christmas is round the corner and it's cold, cold, cold! So much so that I made a mad dash to Tesco at 10pm last Monday night to purchase a hot water bottle. It's been a fixture in my bed ever since - at least I now have something warm AND reliable to snuggle up to...

I decided this morning as I scampered to work that I actually like the icy pavements - it makes me appreciate what a fantastic purchase my moon boots were! (Gives me a good excuse to wear them too!)

I have 3 pairs of moon boots now, one traditional, real deal, cool as fuck, red pair of original moon boots. The other two are slightly more practical black ones although one pair have white go-faster stripes. This pair were velcroed round my legs this morning keeping my feet toasty with their faux fur lining. I've still got them on under my desk as I type this - I did put some proper work shoes on this morning but after my lunch excursion I've given in and kept on the comfort boots. Anyway, I'm in love with the retro coolness of my boots. I feel like a superhero. A really warm and lazy superhero.