...then you should write a letter as good as this.
Letter of Complaint to Richard Branson
It's almost as good as the Sean-John-P-Diddy-Coombes 'I am King' fragrance advert. The first time I saw this advert I very nearly let a little bit of wee out. If you haven't had the pleasure yet then in summary he rides a jet ski around in a tuxedo and sunglasses before walking onto a beach surrounded by hot young ladies.
Do you think he wanted to call his aftershave 'I am God' but that the marketing guys thought that might be a bit too much? That maybe people might get a bit offended. In fact I can hear the conversation now... "so Diddy, I think we should go for I am King, it's so much more you. Anyways, it's like, so cool, and hey I don't know if God even knows how to jet-ski..."
I'm sure Henry VIII used to love a bit of jet-skiing at the weekend... good for gout so I've heard.
So anyway, if you wear his aftershave does that mean that you are a King or does it secretly mean that you think he is king? If he sells enough bottles does it count as some kind of peaceful coup and he gets to be King of the World?
Finally, lets ask ourselves, what do Kings smell like? I know you really want to know. Apparently Kings smell of 'premium' ingredients such as:
Cranberry, "a proprietary Imperial French berry note"
Premium Champagne-crème de cassis-kir royale
Cooling Mediterranean water
Key lime pie, and lemon cream
Kings smell of PIE! Heck, even I'd vote for a king made of pie.
Shouting over the wall.
2 months ago
2 comments:
That's fantastic, Jen! Of course, everyone knows you don't vote for a pie king. They have the 'divine right of pie kings,' which I believe has something to do with a pie in the sky.
Real men generally smell like they've been fighting Danny Baker in a puddle of vomit. Man up, Puffy.
Post a Comment